Sunday, May 3, 2015
So here I am writing a blog. It's taken me 5 years. 5 years to do something that is so simple, and yet so complex. I felt a stirring to write after we had been in China for a bit, but Matt had started a blog for our family so why should I start one? Seemed a bit repetitive, Excuse # 1. Then one of my best friends started a blog and she was amazing, what could I say that could compare to anything that she would write? Excuse # 2 and there's been hundreds since. I've compared myself, I've doubted myself, and I've belittled myself, I've done every thing BUT believe that I have something UNIQUE to say. So here I am. God has been calling me out. No more hiding in the shadow of who he's called me to be. The time to step out is now. And if this blog has any sort of voice I pray that it empowers YOU to step out into who YOU are called to be. A beautiful friend of mine said to me a few days ago "When God whispers something, you had better pay attention." This is something that God has been whispering to me for so long, but I was too afraid to listen. What is God whispering to you? I want this space to be a place where I can be real about me and my struggles, but also reflect on the hugeness of God. I want to remember that he uses us in the MIDDLE of the mess. He's not waiting for us to get it all together so he can use us or touch us in a new way. And I need to stamp that on my heart because I am a mess, really truly, a mess. He wants to be in the middle of the garbage with us and it's THERE that he want's to move in us and through us. This last week in Cali one of the coolest things that I heard said was "The most powerful thing you can give to God is your yes". So this is my yes and it's small, but it's powerful.