Friday, May 22, 2015

The Waiting Room

I was in Target a few months back and I heard a man speaking Chinese. I followed the voice and was shocked to see a white man on the phone. I stood there starring at him for a minute and then very rudely interrupted by saying "You're speaking Chinese!" He looked at me, nodded his head and went on talking. So I awkwardly waited there for him to get off the phone because when you're in Rapid City, South Dakota and a white guy is speaking Chinese that's what you do. Anyway, he finally got off the phone and he kindly humored me as I pummeled him with questions. The thing that stood out to me about this conversation though was when this kind man said "Yea, we just got back 18 months ago". Wait, what? Just got back? 18 months ago? I'm confused.

When we moved to China I'd say it took 4 years before I really felt at home and the first 2 years were pure hell. I knew there would be transition moving back to America, but it couldn't be that bad, right? I knew it wouldn't be easy. Living overseas you hear a lot about reverse culture shock, (People moving home and struggling to readjust to their own culture) but it had to be better than my transition to China.

After being home for 6 months though I'm beginning to understand why my Target friend said he had just come back after being in the States for 18 months.

Transition is a SLOW process, it's a process of waiting and Waiting is hard stuff.

Since being back I've found myself feeling crabby all the time; depressed even. I just want my life to make sense and yet it feels kinda like treading water without anywhere to put your feet.

We all like sure footing, don't we? We like to have the answers to all life's difficult questions, but most of the time we find ourselves in the waiting room.

Psalm 27:14 "Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes wait patiently for the Lord.

During our adoption with Lily I read this verse and it felt like I saw it for the first time. Waiting requires bravery and courage. Who knew!? So if it requires bravery and courage it's must be pretty tough.

So today if you're in the waiting room with me I want to tell you that you are brave and courageous. Second I want to tell you that if it brings out the worst in you you're not alone and that that is it's very purpose. Third I want to tell you that there is grace. So much grace that is covering me and covering you in this very hard thing we are doing.

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